Choose love over fear.
In every challenging, confusing moment, we have a choice. We can react in fear. Or we can put our faith in love.
Usually this means coming to a stop and considering all of the alternatives. Fear will darken and narrow your path. Love will broaden and enlighten it.
Fear = grasping.
Love = Non-attachment to outcomes.
Fear = I need this to be different, I need it to be my way.
Love = This is what is.
Fear = my child is being a problem.
Love = my child is having a problem.
Suddenly, when you choose love, your whole perspective changes. You go from, “How can I change or fix my child?” To, “How can I support my child in this moment?”
So the next time you’re at a loss, ask yourself, Which is the fear-response in this moment? What would a choice made from love look like instead? Sometimes love means saying, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Sometimes it means saying, “I trust you to figure this out.” Sometimes it means admitting, “I really don’t know how to handle this. I’m struggling. I’m doing my best.” Sometimes it means walking away, and leaving your child to sort things out for herself.
Your children will be faced with many obstacles in life, some big and others small. It’s up to you to model a healthy method for how to approach them. You can start with this question, “Will I choose to respond from a place of fear or from a place of love?”
Did I get your attention?
I haven't spent time here in forever friends. I am sorry as technically it is phased out Snickerdoodles, but I also haven't quite got around to ending my subscription so I HAD to share this here. Sort of like I haven't quite got around to doing my taxes...but that is another story. Katrina Kenison is the one who wrote the words above in a recent post called Parenting Advice from a 24 Year Old Son. The link is to come. Years ago in 2011, I shared about one of her beautiful stories here as well, the book The Gift of An Ordinary Day. http://www.snickerdoodles.ca/snickerdoodle_life/2011/06/the-gift-of-ordinary-days.html The post that link will take you to will also show her video which will give any parent a shake, have tissues ready.
I always love her insight. Being a parent is so hard, we need to fall back on the stories and wisdom of those who walked before us. I hope any parents of teens enjoy this recent work by her as much as I did. http://www.katrinakenison.com/2017/03/21/parenting-advice-from-a-24-year-old-son/
Sharing here felt good...I may have to rethink my plan to completely let the Snicks journey go. Life has opened up so many job opportunities I am enjoying so I will let things settle and what kind of balance I can find. There is probably a reason I haven't completely released this project.
oxo
