For big boys buying for big girls that is...lol
Who doesn't LOVE lingerie? It's complicated business though.
The Try Guys are kinda my fave thing on a gloomy morning to make me smile. They are so silly and willing to laugh at themselves. Let's be honest, you boys need help with these things. Just like I need help buying hockey gear for my guys. There is no shame or need to be shy.
This latest Try Guys gem inspired me to put some tips out there for you fellas who are likely a bit panicked about getting something for their Valentine. Watch and learn what not to do...
Never buy lingerie in those horrible plastic hang cases you get tech gear in at gas stations...not a good start. Sex shops in general are not the best place to shop for clothing, it's like cheap Halloween costumes...nothing ever looks like it does on the model in the display photo!
Fifty Shades of Grey comes out tomorrow, I admit I am excited to see it even though I bailed on book three because the writing was painfully annoying. There are a bazillion ways on Urban Dictionary to talk about your hoo hoo but Anastasia referred to it as 'my sex' relentlessly and I couldn't get past it. I will share links to past reviews below but the first book is a fast fun read for girls and boys. With Shades of Grey being so mainstream I think it's going to give lingerie sales a nice little boost.
So even if you miss Valentine's Day there is always Mother's Day or Easter or just because to use as an excuse to buy pretty stuff for the lady of your life.
Today I thought I would offer my thoughts to men buying for women as a gift to all my female friends because everyone knows a girl's bestie is the perfect person for a stumped man to ask for advice on the ideal present. I will narrow it down to three tips with explanations to keep things efficient.
So boys if you are willing to enlightened grab a beer and read on...
Lingerie 101 for Boys
1. Know your girl.
Listen to her about what she likes, watch when she shops and see what she is drawn to.
Every couple needs to do the Five Love Languages quiz. Gary Chapman has nailed it with discovering your partners 'love language'. Ask her to do the quick quiz, do it together and you will be thankful for years to come. I will never forget some of the things done for me from a place of love that didn't cost a cent but were so thoughtful they still make me weepy because they showed he knew me and the language of my heart.
Social media and technology has made getting to know your girl way easier than it used to be. Creep her Instagram and Pinterest and on line shopping bookmarks. If she doesn't have Pinterest it's easy and encourage her to open an account to help you, she can start a private board that only you two see...that is sexy. It's like a fast visual scrapbook. As a photographer I have a Glam Love board where I collect images of under things that I think are divine. There is no red vinyl or cheesy police woman outfits so you can bettya bottom dollar I would not be so happy to receive a gift like that from a beau.
Buy her something that will make her feel sexy...not just what you like. There is always a happy medium. Know her size and taste. Nothing is sweeter as a girl than slipping on a gift that fits like a glove and makes you feel sexy. Know what makes her self conscious and what parts of her body she likes. If she hates her butt she will not be likely to strut around in any g-string you buy her even if it's the most beautiful silk and her favourite colour of pink.
Trust me, you will get the evil eye and a strained: "thank you I love it" through clenched teeth when inside she is screaming: "ARE YOU FRIGGING KIDDING ME?"
2. Find the right shop.
Most towns will have a smaller store you can support and they will be helpful and customer service can be a lifesaver for endeavours such as this. Or hit the mall and find a mature female salesperson to help you with sizing...don't guess!
If you have more money than brains order from Agent Provocateur as they have the most beautiful things and are all over Pinterest in images from high end boudoir shoots. BUT even better, be a generous genius and get ideas and inspirations then hit Victorias Secret or La Senza and find the same thing for 80% less or more. If she is lucky enough to have nice curves find a place that offers plus sizes and don't hit the teeny-bopper shop or she will likely not be impressed. I have amazing luck finding high end, really nicely made pieces at Winners so if you have one locally and a good dose of patience it's worth a quick scan. More than once I have found a bra for around $20 and at the other end of the mall the same item is $60 at The Bay. The savings is enough to sponsor my World Vision child for a month!
If you find something for a great deal at a clearance store buy some lovely reusable tissue and bag and make it look special easily. Buy an essential oil mist and lightly spray the gift then tuck the spray in as part of the gift. Sage Tantra Mist is magical.
Back To Earth also has a nice natural mist spray called Captivating Body Spray. It's only $10.50 and available on-line. I have used the massage oil they make as a moisturiser and it has the same soothing scent.
Donate the rest of the moula you would have wasted at a luxury shop to a good cause because anyone who pays almost $4000 for a Lulie Playsuit like below is a waste of oxygen when we have kiddos who have no food and water on this earth.
3. Be nice. VERY nice.
Even the most perfectly picked, special piece of lingerie will not be well received if you let her down before giving it. No gift will make up for asshole behaviour that will make her feel unloved.
Start early, leave her a sweet note or send a thoughtful text so she feels you care. Find a special song and send her the link to listen to it. I have an 8 tracks link on the left sidebar and you can find romantic playlists created by all types of music lovers. There are even 50 Shades of Grey soundtracks and it's actually pretty good. Type the genre or other keywords in the search area.
Find a poem or quote on Pinterest if you aren't inclined wit words that way. There are heaps of stuff that will make her swoon to choose from. I have a board called Swoon-Worthy with words from T. Knott Gregson and other poets that will touch any heart. Search around till you find something that suits what you share with her or makes you think of her....it won't take long.
MAKE time and put her first that day, DON'T let anything else interfere or trust me she will feel it. Be honest and upfront if there is complications and she will be compassionate. Just don't leave her in the dark trying to handle it alone thinking that is better. She will think you are neglecting her and don't care. Let your issues go and POUR into her only a small while and she will be there for you tenfold to tackle your worries after.
If someone or something makes her feel insecure DON'T go there...you know better. You might think it's innocent enough but her spidey senses will feel it and she will be affected and deeply hurt.
SHOW UP 100%...be present and put away the phone.
Even if she has been driving you bat-shit crazy with her nattering from your perspective (f.y.i. she probably has a valid basis for her inappropriate behaviour that you missed along the way and hasn't been communicated well). Think back to what first made you attracted to her and find it again. See it, focus on that and it so it shines brighter than any bitchiness we can deal out.
BE ON TIME! She deserves that respect. If something comes up call right away and let her know and she will understand.
Make her feel beautiful. Help her relax. Lavish her with love before you give her lingerie. Her heart will be full and that safe place of feeling adored will help any partner quiet their mind and really enjoy wearing the lingerie you picked for them.
Yes it takes effort and planning and a whole lot of thoughtfulness...isn't she worth it?
Don't you want the same kind of feeling to rest in you?
"They say love is the best investment; the more you give,
the more you get in return."
Good Luck to you all and to get you inspired I will leave you with this amusing trailer from
Fifty Shades of Grey...
Seems I never actually did a book review just mentioned it in this post...