If you let your anger get the best of you, it will reveal the worst of you.
-Chip Ingram & Becca Johnson
I have been doing some hard work this March...inspired by a book that challenged me to really examine my patterns and gut feelings and explore some of the relationships around me that leave me baffled and sad. When working on something like this I tend to read a book multiple times...soak up a chapter and let it settle in and see what comes...then read it again and again till I feel I have learned what I needed to from it.
This book is well written and not difficult to read but not easy to honestly apply to yourself.
Anger is an emotion that has little use in our society. It's toxic and ugly and keeps people stuck and destroys relationships. All anger looks different and presents itself differently. I realized I am sort of a stuffer...I don't like being angry. I am not good at it, I mostly cry and crumble...I hide from it and deny it. I am also what the book calls a Leaker. Not the most glamorous label but I will own it. Sometimes my stuffed anger seeps out in ways I am not proud. I might procrastinate or make excuses or engage in gossip that isn't productive at all.
I am grateful for this book and the tools and lessons it provided. The authors are Christians and some might not agree with the notions of God presented but whatever your spirituality the message makes sense and the theories are sound.
Here is a little clip as many of the lessons are available in his teachings as a Pastor, I have only watched bits so I am not 100% what it offers but what I saw made sense...
As a Mother being a good model to my boys comes above everything...I want to teach them to understand their anger and not fall into my patterns or even those the ugly things they see from others that destroy childrens spirits and innocence. Nothing makes me feel like a bigger failure as a parent is when I let my kids see anger get the better or me...when I snap at them because I am stress rolling another issue or am tired or ill. Seeing their eyes and pure spirits crushed breaks my heart. They rarely, almost never hear me yell...I am a horrible yeller but even a quiet harsh snappy tone can harm them forever. I don't want to leave those scars. I pray for patience and grace and the ability to see the big picture and laugh about stuff at times.
Anger has a place when it comes to saving the environment...get angry about the abuse of animals or global warming...that kind of anger can create change and awareness. Really that's the only place I think this raw ugly emotion has a place or excuse.
I look to many sources to learn and grow...Brene Brown, Martha Beck, Elephant Journal and so much more. These authors were new to me but I am glad I happened upon their book at the library. Returning it this week if you want to give it a go.
I would love to hear your thoughts and if you have read or watched anything that changed your ways.
So this month as I presented a lot of holiday fluff I was full on challenging myself via this book. Sorry to hit you with something so heavy out of the blue after spring break but I felt moved to share while this was fresh on my mind.